I appeared to disappoint him. “Sweetheart, your hair has no shape to it,” he’d say, or, “You could stand to lose a few pounds.” And, after I hadn’t eaten all day, the actually mortifying “Oh, darling, your breath!”
I may enhance on dental hygiene however I used to be by no means going to morph into one of many tall, athletic ladies he favored. I used to be petite with tender curves that have been immune to cultivating any exhausting edges. By means of our early interactions, I got here to count on that remorse after intercourse was a traditional default, in addition to a malaise that caught round for days. Solely later, via my evolution as a girl, would I come to grasp that this uncomfortable feeling in my intestine signaled I had bought myself out. Like muscle reminiscence, it might be activated time and time once more, till I realized easy methods to guard towards it. However again then, I used to be putty in his palms.
Out of curiosity or possibly boredom, I’d seemed him up on a current journey I made to attend a marriage. Within the 10 years since we’d final been in contact he had been via a tough divorce, and what started as a catch-up lunch changed into one other spherical of courting. As a grown lady, I used to be a lot much less puppy-like and questioned how I’d fare with him. May I dance near that outdated flame with out getting burned? The quick reply was no. The vacation fling had one other awkward ending and I stored ruminating on it. As soon as once more I’d let him have an excessive amount of energy over me and beat myself up over it. Vampire or not, I needed to be freed from that unfavourable dynamic as soon as and for all.
“Really see him and feel his energy, before you say goodbye,” the shaman mentioned.
I did my half and conjured him up, as instructed.
“Hold onto the thick cord that binds the two of you. Now, imagine taking a heavy sword and slicing through it and send him away with love,” she directed. “Then take the part you’re left with and rub it into your belly, so you don’t create any psychic wounds.”
I minimize via the imaginary twine and despatched him on his manner. With love.
When it was over, I felt elated.